It's all so strange.
We are one month past our original shoot weekend for The Beast of Aberdeen. COVID-19 has changed so much and impacted so many lives that it feels selfish to experience feelings other than gratitude. Truly, I'm extremely grateful for the timing this all hit. If the outbreak had come earlier, my crowdfunding campaign would has died. I saw it happen to other film campaigns in March. But thankfully, we wrapped up our campaign right before shit hit the fan and even surpassed our goal. I decided to pay the film folx that were already on the production in advance. and the rest of the funds are sitting in my bank account, ready for when production re-starts. Our crew is waiting, our cast is prepped, our wardrobe is nearly done, locations scouted and on hold, soundtrack recorded, and now all we have to do is wait until... November? Who knows. I'm going to do more story-boarding in the meantime and try to work on puppet stages, but it's hard. It's difficult to imagine the world that will receive this film. Will there be festivals? Will people want to go to a theatre? I don't know. So I wait.
Thanks to this production whiplash, I'm suffering from creative blue balls. I haven't touched my production materials since this all happened. It's hard to know where to start. New endeavors seem pointless and uninspired. My mind and the world are on hold. Any new idea I have evaporates before even taking root. My mind's eye feels like an empty final draft document... Blank, with a single pulsing line - waiting for something to come, but registering each new thought as futile.
But still, I am grateful and taken care of. We're going to make it though this. I miss the world and I miss my mind. It's all so strange.